Hosting a formal dinner can be a daunting responsibility, especially if it’s your first time hosting one – there are many factors that require careful planning and consideration, from proper etiquette to setting up the dinner. We’ve put together some tips to ease your nerves so you can host your event effortlessly, without adding stress or worry (your guests will think you’ve been doing it your whole life.
Ditch the dull image
When most people think of a formal dinner party, images of men in stuffy tuxedos, stern-faced butlers and miserable guests who would rather be elsewhere are what often come to mind – and that’s just not the case. Anyone can host an event that gets people minding their manners while sitting around a table enjoying a meal.
Keep It Simple
Formal dinners don’t have to be intimidating or awkward. They’re a lot of fun if you know what you’re doing. Start with the location settings. The etiquette rules for setting a table are simple and straightforward. If you’re doing this for the first time, familiarize yourself with some basic rules and techniques—your guests won’t know you’ve never done it before.
Own It
Remember, this is your dinner party – you may need to adjust some of the rules to apply to your table or meal. Don’t make it a problem unless someone asks. Many people don’t know how a formal table should be set, so guests may turn to you for advice on proper etiquette – proceed with caution. If someone makes a mistake, do what you can to cover it up. You don’t want anyone to be embarrassed by not knowing what to do.
Start With a Tablecloth
While a white linen tablecloth isn’t essential for a formal dinner, you can’t go wrong either. The elegance of a crisp white tablecloth and matching napkins sets the stage for your meal. Even the simplest food looks good against a white background. Creamy white is another elegant option – you can also use contrasting napkins for a more dramatic effect.
Place plates and napkins
The first thing to be placed on the tablecloth is the dinner plate. Place it in the very center of each setting, spaced evenly, and leave enough room for the rest of the setting. You can use napkin rings or elegantly fold napkins. Put them in the center of the plate.
Put Utensils in Order
Cutlery should be arranged in the order of use, starting on the outside and moving towards the plate. The fork is on the left, the knife and spoon are on the right, and the knife is closest to the plate. Always position the knife so the cutting blade is facing the board.
The butter knife should rest on the loaf pan. If your guests need dessert spoons or forks, put them on the plate. You don’t have to put down utensils you don’t need while eating.
Leave Room for Other Dishes
You’ll want to make sure you have room for the extra bread pans and extra courses you’ll be serving. Place the breadboard behind the fork tines. Soup bowls and salad plates should be left alone in the center of the plate and removed before serving the main course.
Finish With Glasses and Stemware
You should place your water glass to the right of your plate, near the middle of the table. When serving wine, the wine glass should be directly behind the tip of the knife and next to the water glass. You can choose to have your glasses on the table ahead of time, or wait until serving time.
Note the dessert setting
After the main meals are cleaned up, the dessert plates are placed directly in front of each guest. The only glass that should be kept is the water glass. Coffee goes with dessert, so it’s time to add the coffee mug, which should be about 1 inch above the upper right corner of the dessert plate or bowl.
Create the Centerpiece
Formal dinners call for elegant centerpieces. Use candles, freshly cut flowers, or other decorations to decorate the table without distracting from the food—make sure it’s not too high up. The top of the centerpiece of any dinner party should be below eye level so guests can see others at the table.
Add Party Favors
When setting the table for your wedding reception, consider adding party favors. These can be placed on top of the plate or directly behind the plate towards the center of the table. Benefits that don’t improve the environment can be placed at the door, not on the table. You can also choose to group these gifts in a decorative arrangement rather than a centerpiece.
